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maslow

i think i often mistake hunger and tiredness for sadness. my body feels bad, and since i don't understand why, i look for things to feel sad about, and then i feel sad for real. the thing is that years of not listening to my body - sleeping when i'm not tired, not sleeping when i am tired, not eating when i'm hungry - has left me unable to tell when i physically need something until it gets very serious. i'm never a little hungry; i'm either full or starving and it's hard to know when i'm in between.

here is my proposal to combat this:
if i feel sad, and it is after 2 am, go directly to bed.
if i feel sad before 2 am but it is nighttime, i will have a meal and drink a whole glass of water, and if i am still sad i will make tea and go to bed, unless i am very tired, in which case i will skip the tea. if i am still sad in the morning i will deal with that then (after breakfast).
if i feel sad and the sun is up, i will eat and drink water, and if i am still sad i will either make tea or go for a walk, depending on the weather.

i was very sad earlier but then i took a tylenol for the headache i didn't know i had and now i'm eating and drinking lots of water and i feel much better. i feel like what i think of as my inner life, what goes on in my mind, is much more physical than i previously suspected.


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