sleep

in the past week or so i've started to have trouble sleeping, which is unusual for me. what happens is, i'll lie down and start just thinking about things like what i did that day, stuff from tv or video games, and so on. generally what happens after a few minutes is my thoughts start get more and more nonsensical until i fall asleep. it's pretty easy. but now, everything seems normal up until the part where my thoughts start to loosen. then i wake up suddenly, feeling confused or upset depending on what i was thinking about, and i think i see a dark bug running to hide behind something. and then i have to turn the lights on and look for the bug, and i never find anything. sometimes i'll keep looking at the bug while i reach for the light, and it'll be gone when i flip the switch. it's interesting, to me, that it's always the exact same thought, and it's so specific.
i once, a couple years ago, hallucinated a spider on my window shade, but i like spiders so i didn't think it was scary. and it was too big to be real anyway (is that the least comforting thought in the world or what?), and after i looked at it for a minute i realized i could make it change sizes just by thinking about it. so, that was cool.

another odd thing is that i sleep with the tv on and since the bug thing has been happening, i can't understand what the people on tv are saying when i'm in bed. i hear them talking, but i don't know what they're saying. it gives me the creeps.

i'm going to bed in just a minute and i hope no other weird shit happens.