done

i was going to say "i'm pulling the trigger tuesday" because that is the phrase my best friend used, but it occurred to me just in time that people who know me are likely to interpret that literally. anyway, i'm breaking up with her tuesday.

but it's complicated now, because she misinterpreted something i said and then apparently got upset and tried to send a slightly mean text about me to her friend. but she sent it to me instead and now we have to Talk About It, which to me is the equivalent of trying to sell your shitty car to someone who is trying to repair it. the problem isn't that the car is broken, it's that i don't want to own a car anymore. or, to be more optimistic about it, i want to buy a different car.

anyway, the last couple of weeks have been a nightmare for me, except that "nightmare" isn't the right word, because "nightmare" implies that there's been sleeping going on, which there hasn't been. i've only been getting between 3 and 5 hours of awful sleep and during the day i've been so slow and distracted. so i'm happy that all i have left is exams, though unhappy that 2 of them are at 8 am.

i feel like everyone but me views most of the semester as manageable and then panics during exams, but the hard thing for me has always been keeping up with assignments and projects and getting things turned in on time. actually learning the material is very easy for me, so i consider exams a time to relax, because i don't have to do any work except show up in class at a certain time for a while and then go home and never worry about that class again. plus i don't have to get up early every morning, so i'm actually well-rested and i can stay out late if i want. (no more classes before 11 ever again unless the class is, like, race and gender in sci-fi with free wine and snacks and no boys allowed. could i cope with wine before 11 am? i don't know, but i'm willing to find out.)

i was going to say "i'm glad this will all be over soon", but, again, misinterpretations.