out

friday i went to a party. i made cookies for the party and they were all gone by the time i left, so that was cool. i'd been worried that nobody would like the cookies because i personally didn't like them that much - the texture was lovely but they had a kind of molasses-y flavor that i'm not into. i also tried a drink called a dark and stormy which is ginger beer and rum, i think. it was great and now i have a new favorite.
my friend who hosted the party is trying to downsize his library, so he has a stack of books for me to read. all of them are about feminism, as far as i know. this is because he and i are both gender studies majors but i'm still in undergrad while he's in grad school. it makes me happy that he thought of me. i don't have the books though because i forgot to ask for them after the party, and then when i saw him saturday he joked that it was all an elaborate ruse to get me to keep visiting him. maybe i will just take the books one at a time.

saturday some of the people from the party invited me to go to lake murray with them and i said yes. one of them has parents who own a lake house and were out of town for the weekend, so we had the house to ourselves.
i don't have much experience with boats, and i'm actually afraid of lakes, but i had a lot of fun on the lake. the reason i'm afraid of lakes is that i'm afraid of there being monsters or just very large fish in them, which will sink any boat i'm in and then eat me. but lake murray is man-made, so how would the monsters even get in there? and two of the people on the boat used to be lifeguards, so i wasn't even worried about drowning.

sunday i was going to lay on the couch all day, but i was invited to a community yard sale, so i went to that instead. i bought a necklace and a cupcake and an odd light that had bendable wire legs. it's hard to describe.
afterward i had a drink with some friends and then i went home because it was sunday and there was nothing else to do.
i also finally caught and relocated the mouse that's been keeping me awake. i've caught it before but it's always escaped from the container and gotten back into the house. this time i put it in a taller container and i drove it a few miles away before releasing it. i don't really think a mouse can find its way home from 10 miles away, but what i do think is that i'm running out of patience with this mouse and if i see it again i might get angry and just kill it. saturday night i was very sad and i was lying in bed, and then i heard the mouse chewing on something and i got so angry because all i wanted in the world was to be able to sleep and not feel sad for a few hours and i couldn't even have that. it sucked.

so anyway i've been very busy this weekend, and then sunday night there was some drama, and i can't tell whether i'm disproportionately angry about what happened or i'm just sick of dealing with any person at all in any context and once i take a few days off i'll feel able to deal with this stuff. i think it's probably the latter. i've made plans to go out on wednesday but i spent today alone and i'm going to stay in tomorrow too, so i hope i'll feel better by wednesday. maybe part of having friends is having to deal with not being able to tightly control every aspect of your life anymore. i don't really like that.