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hugs not drugs

yesterday i read an article about a woman who did crystal meth for like 10 years and never got caught. i don't have any special interest in addiction stories, though i appreciate the value of them, but this one was like, "i did crystal meth for over a decade and literally nothing bad happened to me! i was super productive and my house was always spotless and i had my dream job and a great boyfriend and i lost a bunch of weight. but anyway it's super terrible and you should never do it ever."

i used to have an actual fear, undoubtedly brought on by the numerous d.a.r.e. programs i was exposed to as a child, that people might sneak into my house at night and inject drugs into my legs and feet while i slept, so that i would get addicted. (you had monsters that would grab your feet and drag you under the bed and eat you; i had drug dealers.) i wasn't sure why anyone would do this except to be malicious and ruin my life, which i assumed happened any time you even looked at a drug.
i realize now what was missing from my understanding of drugs: why anyone would do them to begin with. i didn't realize that they made you feel good. that's why i thought people would make you take drugs just to be mean to you. i didn't exactly grow out of this fear so much as realized that drugs are fun and expensive and if someone gives them to you for free they're probably a good friend. i'm still pretty afraid of cocaine, though that might be because i watch too much american dad.

anyway, maybe i should pick up a meth habit. i wonder if my perfect skin can stand it. my room really is a mess.


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