dodging bullets

tonight some people were talking about how the person i used to like stalked a girl and possibly had sex with a different girl who was too drunk to consent and didn't really want to be there. i don't really know how to feel about this. i want to know if these things are true or not because i don't want to be friends with someone who treats women that way. i was about to write, "he doesn't seem like the type of person to do something like that", but bad people don't walk around wearing signs saying "piece of human garbage, do not engage". they should, though.

i think i'm just going to ask him about it tomorrow. i'm trying to be more honest, after all. i've been thinking about how best to bring this up with someone. i read once that the way to encourage people to be decent is to treat them as though they already are. i have success with this in general so possibly it will work with this too. i think i will say something like, "yesterday night some people were saying that you stalked a girl or something. that isn't true, is it? i wanted to ask you about it because you don't seem like the kind of guy who would do something like that." and then if he gets weird and defensive about it, i will know that it's probably true, and if he is confused and stuff i will know that it's probably not true, and if he admits it and explains himself i will know that it's true but he's still probably a good person.

i don't know if i'm very good at dealing with these kinds of delicate social situations. i think i might be because they don't seem to happen to me all that often, which may be because i just ask people straight out what's going on and there's no time for drama and other things to start happening because there's nothing really to tell. maybe this is a test. anyway, let's talk about how great it is that i didn't accidentally date someone who might be a psycho. (i heard he broke into a chick's house while she was away! who does that?)