bittersweet

yesterday i went out (not like, went out, but just, like, went out) with the person i like and it was pretty fun.

so when we met like a year ago or something, it was through a mutual friend who is the kind of person who never makes nice and she's honest and straightforward with everyone all the time. she has a reputation (i think it's relevant that it's mostly men who feel this way) for being mean, but she isn't really, she just doesn't find it valuable to spend time being kind and bending over backward to accommodate rude people, or boring people, or racists or sexists, just to avoid being disliked. i admire her a lot.
i've talked a lot about feeling like people are only nice to me out of pity, but this girl is the one person i've never thought that about. if she didn't actually like me, she just wouldn't bother engaging with me. anyway, the person i like and i were talking about her yesterday, and he told me that when this girl first mentioned me to him, she said i was one of her favorite people, and he thought, "well, she must be amazing, because [friend] never talks like that about anyone."

i was very surprised and flattered to hear that she feels that way about me. i knew she liked me but i never knew i was one of her favorite people. it means a lot to me.

it's funny to me that she and i get along so well. i expected that she would find me annoying, and maybe she thought i would find her unkind. but what we have in common is that we're both honest and thoughtful people. i think knowing her has made me more assertive, and i feel like since i met her she's become a bit kinder and more open, and maybe i had something to do with that. so, even though i'm very sad that my friend has moved far away, i feel so happy that we got to know each other at all. i'm lucky to have a friend like her.