queer studies

i was thinking i'd try the online dating thing again soon, and also i think i want to try to meet men on there too. i'm hesitant to pursue that, though. when i first got on okcupid i had just turned 18 and i listed myself as bisexual. i got endless creepy messages from men way out of my age range and almost no messages from girls. it sucked. last year, though, i listed myself as gay and wrote on my profile that i identify as queer, and i got only thoughtful, interesting, politely flirtatious messages, mostly from women, although i also got some messages from a trans man and a couple from a genderqueer person. i did get one sexual message - a girl asked nicely if i wanted to sext with her. i said no thank you and wished her good luck. she apologized for bothering me, said i was pretty, and said she hoped i met someone nice. it was all very pleasant and i know it won't be anything like that if i start talking to men on there. plus, some lesbians don't like dating polysexual women, although i guess that's fine since it's not like i want to date a lady who's terrified i'll leave her for a man. i haven't yet figured out why that would be more upsetting than being left for a woman. oh, and also women who list themselves as bisexual on dating sites have to deal with people assuming they're promiscuous or interested in hooking up with couples or open to a poly relationship, none of which are true in my case.

so i don't know. i think i'll go for it anyway. i'll miss dating in a magical land of cute people who send me sweet messages, but maybe i'll meet a nice boy. we'll see.

on a side note, i had to look up the word "polysexual" on wikipedia just now to make sure i was using it right - i'm still not sure but it seems like it ought to mean the opposite of "monosexual", right? - and now i'm angry because there's some bisexual advocacy group claiming that pansexuals and polysexuals and so on are only using those words because we don't understand what "bisexual" means. man, fuck those guys.