.

i finally found a healthcare center that i think could probably get me started on medication or something. i spent all day looking, and i've done this same search before, and one thing that makes me so mad is how hard these people make it to get help. i mean, in terms of actually figuring out who to call and at what time and what to ask for and where to go. practical stuff like that. people who have problems like i have problems take a really long time to get the courage up to even seek out help, and then when we do we have to try to navigate a fucking labyrinth just to figure out what phone number to call. it's really ridiculous. the place i found is about as confusing as any of the other places i looked at, so i think i'll just do what i always do when i don't know what to do, which is go to the office and find a woman who looks older than me and tell her i'm lost. i'm not above crying, either.

i'll definitely go there on friday, no matter what. i wish i had someone to go with me.