newest | me | past | diaryland


friends

yesterday i woke up a bit after 5 pm and i had a text from my friend who moved away saying she was in town for the night. i told her i'd get dressed right away and come down there to see her, so i did. by the way, it's kind of neat that just the other day i was complaining about being lonely, and then one of the few people who actually likes me comes back just for a day, earlier than she'd planned to come back. i don't really believe in god or anything but in case someone up there set this up, thanks, that was cool of you.

anyway so it was really fun. i got to see a lot of people i haven't talked to in a while. also, my therapist, because she and i have the same favorite bar. she's only a few years older than me and we have similar personalities and live in a smallish city, so it's not that surprising. it still seems like something from a book, though, doesn't it?

the person i like also came and i was really ridiculously happy to see him. i overheard him saying he was moving so i asked if i could help and he said yes because i have a car and he doesn't. so saturday i'm helping him move, and he said he'd buy me pizza for lunch afterward. i told him he didn't have to but he says it's traditional to do that when someone helps you move. he has this interesting way of talking to me sometimes - he's good at reassuring me about things. he knows i don't like situations where i feel like i'm imposing on people, so he helps me see the situation differently so i don't feel guilty. i'll write about another example of this in a minute.
but anyway, i'm also helping him take some other stuff of his to sell it on sunday, and he said there was a party of some kind then and invited me to it. he isn't sure if he wants to go or not, though. i gather that the person throwing the party has parties of wildly varying quality. he only said "it might be kind of weird" but i just remembered that my other friend, the one who moved away, told me about a time when this person had a party and one guest had apparently sexually assaulted some drunk girls at previous parties and another guest yelled at him about it and told him to leave and then the yelling guest got thrown out for "making a scene" and "causing drama".
this isn't related to this person being a rapist but when i first met him he was dating one of my friends and he had the worst haircut in the world. this dude is in his 40s so it's already weird that he hangs out with only college kids, but he also had this haircut that a 15 year old who was really into fall out boy might beg his mom to let him get. it was embarrassing. maybe some books have shitty covers for a reason.

another thing that happened is that i told the person i like - and everyone else who was sitting near us - that i've been really depressed all summer which is why i'm not in college. nobody was mean about it at all! someone else asked if i'd been watching a lot of netflix and i said yes of course, so he asked me what i'd been watching and we just talked about that. i thought it was very kind of him to not ask a bunch of weird questions about my illness but instead to find something we had in common and talk to me about it like i was a normal person.
the person i like was also very kind, he asked me if i was planning to go to school in the spring and when i said yes he said he wanted to help me. he said he'd wanted to help me this summer too but he didn't want to ask me about my application stuff because he didn't want to be like my mom. but he said he really does want to help and that he wished i'd asked him sooner. i told him i'd bake him something nice if he helped me and he said i didn't have to, that i could just hang out with him and that would make him happy. this is that thing i was talking about again, he saw that i felt guilty about owing him a favor so he made me feel better about it. he's a good person and i'm glad we're friends and i'm glad i was honest with him about this summer.

also, one of my friends thinks he might have a crush on me. i think...maybe.


<< >>