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yesterday i had lunch with the person i like. he's very busy lately so it makes me happy that he thinks it's important to make time for me. also, we're definitely spending my birthday together. he said, "unfortunately, i'll be busy that morning, but you'll probably be asleep anyway, right?" he really gets me.

he asked what i wanted to do for my birthday and i said i'm not sure about dinner yet but i really want to go to this one fancy dessert place afterward. i've been there once before and it was so nice. i got the biggest slice of cake i've ever seen in my life. i split it with my girlfriend and still took over half of it home. anyway, i told him, "i'm a little nervous about asking you to go there with me, because it's kind of date-y." (in hindsight i realize that it kind of sounded like i was actually asking him out. i think if he'd asked me about it, i would have agreed that that was what i was doing. oh well.) he said, "well, if the server seems to think we're on a date or something, i'll just tell him we're brother and sister and let him deal with that." i agree that this is funny both because we look nothing alike and because i'm adopted so i actually could be his sister, but it kind of hurts my feelings when people i like make this kind of joke. like, the joke is that the idea of us dating is so absurd and impossible that it's funny. is it really that silly to think that someone might like to date me?

the answer is: no. later after lunch i went shopping at the mall and as i was pulling into the parking lot some dude walked up to my car. he asked for my number and i was so surprised that i just gave it to him without thinking. he said he would call me and ask me on a date. i really, really do not want to date this person, and thankfully, he hasn't called. i thought if he called last night i'd at least go to coffee or lunch with him and then let him down politely, but i don't like people who tell me they'll do something and then don't. mostly i feel flattered that someone thinks i'm pretty and grateful that i don't have to deal with this situation any further. unless he just wants to call to talk about how pretty i am. that would be okay.

tomorrow i'm going to an academic conference. the person i like, who has never called me pretty or agreed with me when i say i'm pretty, but often expresses approval of the dresses i wear, which i like to interpret as his wanting to say i'm pretty without making me uncomfortable, is presenting at this conference, and since i've never been to one, i told him i would go. also he says that because of his topic he might get yelled at and it'd be nice to have at least one person listening who isn't angry with him at the end. i'm a little nervous because i don't know anything about the general topic of the conference, although what the person i like is presenting on is something i know a little bit about. i hope i don't feel out of place there. i'm not even sure what to wear. i guess i'll just wear what every other girl i know in this field wears: a dress, a cardigan, and flats. i'm getting a lot better at making reasonable guesses about expected behavior in different social situations. it's pretty cool. i think i'll have a good time.

sunday afternoon i went to the state fair and it was wonderful. well, most of it was boring, but the petting zoo was awesome. i spent a bunch of quarters buying food for the animals. i fed some goats and some sheep and two donkeys. there was a cow but it seemed kind of nervous and i didn't want to get bitten so i left it alone. there was also an oryx which for some reason i keep forgetting isn't extinct. i think i get them mixed up with quaggas.
sometimes i feel a bit sad because i think in another life i could have been a zoologist of some kind. i think i would have been happy. maybe i'll do that if my current career aspirations don't pan out.