outside

G said she has a friend that she wants me to meet because she thinks i would get along with them and possibly date them. when she told me this, i said, "okay, but the last times you've tried to introduce me to people haven't gone that well." she said, "that's because you don't try. you meet someone and you don't want to marry them right away so you don't even give them a chance." even though, of the two people she's introduced me to, one turned out to be batshit and also in love with her, and the other was 15 years older than me and also possibly gay. good job, G.

here is the difference between myself and G: she thinks that you should be friends with everyone as long as there's no reason not to, while i'm not interested in being friends with someone if there's no reason to. i'm not a mean person and i like most people in general, but i take friendship really seriously and i just don't connect on that level with everyone. i don't want friends that are annoying or mean-spirited or bigoted. G will let most of those people in as long as they aren't too bad and are nice to her personally, or entertaining enough that she overlooks their otherwise bad personality. i think that's dumb for two reasons - the main one is that i don't want to spend time with awful people, but the other reason is that i think continuing to be friendly with assholes encourages them to keep being assholes. why would you ever stop being a jerk if you still got everything you wanted all the time? i don't want racists and creepers to see me as a person who accepts their behavior, i want them to feel bad so they'll be motivated to change. some people have the patience and the spoons to befriend jerks who seem like they could eventually improve. i am not one of those people.

anyway, so i'm only a little interested in meeting this girl. i don't know what she's been told about me, so that's kind of weird. i guess i'll see what happens.

i was supposed to go to a concert next week with the person i like but he says he has school stuff to do so he can't go. i think i'm more disappointed than is warranted, but i'm not really sure.

i've been doing different stuff with my face lately. the reason is, a little while ago i finally ran out the cleanser i've been using for years. i bought 3 bottles of it on sale while i was in college, so i've just been slowly using that up. i decided to try a new cleanser but it was hard to choose one because of all the options and also because my skin is mostly fine and i don't need anything special. i get occasional zits that i use a blemish stick on, and my skin gets a little dry, but that's about it. but it seems like most products are formulated for people with skin problems or people with a pathological fear of aging. the other thing that happened is, sometime last year i started using coconut oil instead of moisturizer on my face, and it's great, except that if i wear makeup, my face gets a little oily after a couple hours. so i wanted to get an actual moisturizer too.

i ended up with a first aid beauty cleanser and moisturizer, which i like very much. they don't smell like anything and they're gentle and my face feels so clean after the cleanser. i also got an origins cleanser, which i haven't used yet but may use tomorrow. and then i ran out of eye makeup remover, so i got a formula 10.0.6 cleanser, which is my favorite new thing. i just put some on a cotton ball and rub it on my face and that's all. it gets my makeup off without burning or drying and the best thing is i can use it as a regular cleanser that i don't even have to get out of bed to use. sometimes when i'm unhappy, i stop taking care of myself physically, which makes me feel much worse, so it's nice that no matter how bad i feel i can at least wash my face every day. it makes me feel so much better.

also i got some glittery nail polishes from etsy a couple weeks ago. i got 5 of them for only $20 and they're all so pretty. when i see people i know i push my fingers into their faces and ask what they think of my nails and i make them say something nice before i'll leave them alone about it. i guess i'm lucky i have the face for that kind of thing.