vain

i feel like i have spent most of my life feeling uncomfortable with my appearance. i don't mean that i found myself ugly, although i have also though that a lot. i mean more that what i want to look like, and what i think i look like, has always been very different from what i actually look like, and it has caused me distress.

that doesn't really happen anymore. i spent a lot of time choosing clothes, putting on makeup, and doing various odd things to my hair, and it makes me so happy. when i look in the mirror now, which i do as much as possible, i usually think, "yes, that's just what i wanted."

whether or not i'm pretty is debatable. i definitely think so, and other people often tell me so. but i'm definitely a person it's hard not to look at, and i really like it. i like being big and colorful and taking up a lot of space. it's just so freaking cool.

i don't know, maybe i should move my blog to tumblr so i can post a million selfies every day. i'd be doing the world a favor, to be honest.