lucky

on friday i had to go to school to do paperwork and so forth. i was very anxious, because school starts next week and i haven't signed up for classes or anything like that. i was afraid i wouldn't be able to go to school this fall, and also that someone i asked for help might yell at me or be angry. thankfully none of that happened, and i was able to get everything sorted out without incident.
i'm signed up for orientation, which i think is on the 19th, and i'm annoyed about it because i have to be there all day, from 8 to 5. it's probably just going to be touring the campus and doing get to know you type activities and i know at some point i'm supposed to meet my advisor so i can choose my classes. i was sent an email about it that advised me to wear comfortable clothes and shoes and told me the school would be supplying breakfast and lunch. i hate stuff like that since i'm such a picky eater. i'm scared it'll be like, you get to pick a sandwich and chips and a fruit and a drink, but i won't like any of the sandwich options so i'll be hungry and miserable all afternoon. i hope it's not that bad.

anyway though, so i got all these things done, but i hadn't slept at all that night because i was so nervous and i'd hardly eaten and i'd had a bunch of coffee. i only had time for a late lunch and a short nap before i had to get ready and go to the event thing. somehow i managed to drag myself out of bed and i met up with my best friend to have a drink before the event started. i was so happy to see him that i felt better right away.

at the event, which was so crowded, he bought me a truly awful glass of wine, which i drank anyway. normally two drinks isn't enough to get anybody drunk, but i was so tired and i hadn't had enough to eat, so i was having a good time right away. we ran into that girl i mentioned, whose birthday party i went to earlier this summer and then i tried to make plans with her but nothing ever came of it. she seemed really glad to see me and my friend so i just asked her, in a very chill (for me) way, what was up with the plans thing. it turns out she was just super busy and she forgot. we made plans to have coffee on saturday.

she was awesome that whole night. when she starts drinking she gets sort of aggressive and shouty but in a really fun way. she threatened to kick a lot of people's dicks off (??) and told us lots of stories. the best thing was watching people turn around and look confused when they overheard her yelling about dicks or whatever. she's a wonderful person and i'm glad she exists. i'm glad we're friends, but even if we weren't i'd be happy just to know someone like her existed in the world.

i got to see art by the person i'm interested in. they were wearing a matching black shirt and pants with a green skeleton on them, and when i asked i was told they do in fact glow in the dark. i thought that was cool. also, they liked my lipstick a lot. i had been nervous about that because when i put it on before i left the house, i thought it made me look a little like a dead person. i normally wear a lot of warm tones and now i know it's because cool tones make me look a little corpsey. maybe that person is into corpses, though. life is a rich tapestry.

i did really like the art though. it was interactive, so the point was sort of to watch people engage with it and see what they would do. it was super interesting. they invited me and my best friend to one of their performances in september. i'm suspicious, but of course i'm still going.

after the event was over my friend and i had another drink at a bar and i had something to eat, and then i took him home. basically, it was the perfect night.

saturday i did get to have coffee with the cool girl. she's fun to talk to and she said a lot of nice things about me. she said she doesn't usually meet up with people one on one because it makes her anxious because if they get bored of her then she can't just walk away. or she could, but that would be rude. but she likes talking to me so it wasn't awkward at all. also she said she likes that i'm so earnest. i told her some people find it offputting but she said those people are probably just jealous because they wish they could be honest and sincere about their feelings but they're scared of being judged so instead they make people who can be honest feel bad for it. maybe i'm conceited (maybe?) but i think that might be true. anyway, i hope we'll get to hang out again soon.

today i went to church because it was the interim minister's first sermon. it wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly inspiring. i'd probably like to have her as a teacher but i didn't feel emotionally moved or anything like that. after that i hung out with a friend from church for a while, and then i went home and crashed, which i didn't mean to do because i'm trying to get used to sleeping at night before i have to go back to school. oh well. i'll figure it out.

but what i want to say is for the last couple of days i've just been feeling so happy all the time. i'm excited to go back to school and have a schedule and things to do again. i hope i'll get to meet a lot of cool people and make new friends. i'll get to see my best friend a lot because we'll have a lot of classes in the same building, and i'm so lucky that i have him as a resource if i need help with anything. i'm so excited to get to know the person i'm interested in and the cool girl i hung out with yesterday. i hope all four of us will be friends and then i'll have a clever and fun and loving friend group that makes me feel happy and understood. i haven't had that since...ever. just, for the first time in a really long time i feel like my future's going to be really good. i have so much to look forward to. it feels amazing.