real

i broke my keyboard earlier so my space bar is kind of wonky right now. too bad this didn't happen during one of those long stretches of time when i was staying in my house sleeping all day and had nothing of interest to write about.

college has been picking up a bit. i mentioned before that my horoscope had predicted something good happening on the 26th. probably it had nothing to do with stars, but i did have a pretty good day. i was walking to my sociological theory class and a guy smoking outside said hello to me. it turns out we have 3 classes together, so we chatted and it was nice. and then when i got to class some of my other classmates talked to me. it was just nice to be acknowledged. also, it turns out my theory professor is pretty cool. that means i only have to deal with one asshole twice a week. what a relief!

i had to do a lot of walking after that and i got very lost, but then i went to the organizational fair. you may recall that i had decided to sign up for at least two clubs. i actually ended up signing up for 8:

• students invested in change, a progressive activist group. really excited about this one.


• iris. it stands for something weird that i can't remember, but it's the lgbt/gsa group. i think it's the biggest student organization on campus, so i signed up more to attend their events than to make friends.


• a video game club. i think they also do design type stuff, so that could be interesting.


• secular student alliance. there were only men at the table and when i asked what they did one of them mentioned debating. i signed up anyway.


• ballroom dancing club. still have not decided whether i was joking.


• some sorority? same as above, but i've decided i was definitely kidding because when i got a follow-up email from them, i was invited to one of their events and the email said i have to dress professionally. hard pass.


• undergrad social work group. my major isn't actually social work, but since that's what i want to do in grad school, i figured i should sign up and get to know some of the people i'll be working with.


• college democrats, again more for the events than the people (i'm not a democrat).

so i guess i'll be even busier. it should be fun.

at the end of the fair i ran into a friend of mine who was biking home from work. i gave him a ride home instead because it was so hot, and he invited me inside and i got to hang out with his dogs. after that i went home and checked my email and learned that there was a new season of svu on netflix. overall, it was a pretty good day.

thursday was nice too. my sex roles professor is still the fucking worst but i've definitely made a friend in that class.

yesterday though was great. i hung out with A, and then with A and her boyfriend, which was boring. but after that i went out for a drink and i ran into the cool girl i had coffee with. we sat at the bar and talked for over 3 hours and it was the best.
she showed me how she flirts with people (when she isn't yelling at them, anyway). she says she puts her hand out on the table and looks at the other person and says, "so you gonna hold this thing or what?" and then if the person does it you know they like you (her exact words were, "now i have you in my web.") she says it has only failed once, and that guy did hold her hand but then didn't want to go home with her and she's still mad about it.
i accidentally told her i have a crush on someone. i really didn't mean to but i mentioned this person and described them as "the weirdest person i know" and she guessed immediately. i feel vaguely embarrassed but she told me she thought we'd be good together. actually she kind of gushed about it. it was nice to hear because my best friend is pretty lowkey about these things and A just makes fun of the person i like which makes me feel shitty. i'll get back to that in a second.

so anyway, this girl and i were leaving the bar and she was sad because her ex was there with some other girl, so she said we should hold hands while we walked. we did, and i said, "oh, are you in love with me now?" she said, "dammit, you know all my tricks!" and then we said goodbye and went home. when i got in the car, i noticed it was around half past midnight. my horoscope had also predicted that the 29th would be a romantic day for me because of the full moon and things. i think holding hands with someone for a minute, in a comforting and platonic way, is a very sweet interpretation of that. it's romantic in a different kind of way. so i'm happy.

about A, though, i'm feeling more ambivalent about our friendship. i don't dislike her but she seems to have a lot of problems and she doesn't have much interest in solving them. and i don't see much reciprocation happening; that is, if i had a problem i don't think she'd do very much to help if it meant she'd actually have to put in effort. yesterday i drove her home from work so she wouldn't have to wait 3 hours for her boyfriend to do it, and then i drove her out again to get dinner for them. then this morning she texted me asking if i could drive her again, and i said no because i was too hungover to drive. i wasn't really, but i was really tired and i wanted to stay home and chill. she asked when i'd be able to drive and i just said i didn't know. so i spent the day at home on vine. i'm not a taxi service and gas isn't free.
the girl i was hanging out with yesterday - i'll call her C - she was telling me that it's okay to say no to people about stuff like this. she says next time A tells me about something awful her boyfriend has done, which happens several times a week, i should ask her what she's going to do about it, and if she doesn't have an answer, then the conversation is pretty much over. that seems okay to me, to nudge her into taking some kind of action instead of complaining until she doesn't feel bad about it anymore and then not changing anything.

i think i've mostly fixed my keyboard. i've been messing with it on and off since i started writing this. it's worse than before i broke it but better than before i half fixed it. well, sort of. it's more erratic in terms of function but also more comfortable to actually use. we'll see.

anyway, so that's...that.