birthdays and feelings

i did end up going to charlotte but i didn't find anything i liked. boo. i went shopping again monday night and still didn't find a dress. i went to sephora for my birthday gift and it turned out to be two nars lip pencils. one is pretty and a little shimmery but it's nearly the same color as my lips. the other is a bright red matte. so of course, i was disappointed. but i played around with them and figured out that i could just put the shimmery one on first, then the matte, and end up with a really pretty red color that lasts forever. also i bought a bunch of jewelry from hot topic because they had a sale. i got like a million pairs of earrings (mostly shaped like stars) and a necklace and my favorite thing, a ring with a giant green (it's like pantone bright chartreuse but BRIGHTER) heart shaped stone. so that was all fun. and then i ordered some perfume online. i don't think it will get here before my birthday, but that's okay. well. it's not really okay because i don't have any perfumes i really like for my birthday. but, a few months ago i was at anthropologie (??) and they had one there that i really liked and it wasn't even expensive at all. i might go buy it tomorrow but most likely i will just settle for wearing a less-favorite perfume because i have 7 different ones coming in the mail already and i don't need any more.

the gay pride parade/festival is on my birthday too. my best friend and i are going together. i asked him about our plans and he said he had some things to do in the morning but "after that, i'm all yours." are you, though?

i also learned today that i have the same birthday as drake. i kind of wondered about this for a while because i knew he was a scorpio and i also knew he was born in october so there was a 1 in 9 chance that we shared a birthday. and we do! he was born exactly 5 years before me. i think it's really cool.

wednesday night i went to an anita hill party. it was fun because i knew a lot of the people there and there was an open bar and the bartenders were all from my favorite bar. one part was weird though. there was a presentation about things women have accomplished since the first anita hill party. a lot of them had to do with women in the military. we were supposed to clap when the lady at the podium read these things out, and everyone else did, but i don't think the military should exist at all, so i didn't. i think many of the ladies at this party want everything to be just as awful as it is now except with women at the top.
there was a blackboard where you could write what you wanted to see change in your lifetime. first i was annoyed because there were a limited number of spaces to write your wishes and a bunch of people wrote vague crap like "equality for women" in multiple spaces. then someone wrote that her wish was that at the next party there won't be any mention of race or sexual orientation at all because "we are all women". things like that make me so angry. it's always straight white women who say them and it's always because they don't like having to feel uncomfortable because someone has brought up the possibility that they might have done something racist or homophobic.
but anyway, i did make friends, and i got a few business cards, and i got to talk to my best friend's adviser, who likes me a lot. so overall it was still good.

yesterday i was talking to someone who is the older sister of a friend i had in high school. we were talking generally about the people i'd known in high school and somehow my best friend from then got brought up. (i think i called her six last time i mentioned her here.) i asked how six was doing, and the other girl told me, not well. the reason is that six is still dating the guy she was with in high school and he flirts with other girls and i guess won't commit to her for real. i don't know anything about the commitment issue, but i do know he's always been a flirt. it's something i really liked about him. he was playful and charming and liked to make other people feel good, though i felt like he'd never really cheat on his girlfriend, which i thought was nice. (please keep any speculations on the similarities between this guy and the total asshole i asked out last year to yourself. yes, they have similar personalities and interests. yes, they both are thin and short with blonde hair and blue eyes and soft features and no facial hair and they dress the same and had the same major in college. mind your own business!!)
anyway, so i thought it was weird that six was complaining that her boyfriend flirts too much, because he was like that when they met and when they first started dating. she complained about it then too. i don't know why they're still together if it bothers her that much. but this other girl told me they break up often and have a lot of fights. i am not as sympathetic as i wish i was. i told this to the other girl, and she made a suggestion that normally would have annoyed me but this time did not. she said, "you should pray for her happiness." i think i will do that. i will pray for six's happiness and for her boyfriend's and for my own.

i was invited to an event next week. the event was planned by a friend to raise money for people affected by the flood. basically, she asked everyone she knows who does anything creative at all to come and perform. someone i know will be performing. would you like to guess who?

anyway.