newest | me | past | diaryland


head

recently i met a lady who is the wife of a priest. i asked what that was like for her and she told me a lot of interesting stuff about their marriage, particularly that she believes that she should be submissive to her husband because she considers him the head of their household. she even talked about obeying him in her marriage vows.

but then she described her husband, and she said he's very kind and gentle and thoughtful and introverted. and she herself is opinionated, sometimes bossy. so, in practice, he has very little interest in ordering her around. she says there's only been maybe 2 times when he's "made" her do something, and those times were about more logistical things than moral topics.

i guess i think it's weird to make such a big deal about how important it is for women to obey, while setting up your own life such that you don't have to obey very much at all. she's the wife of a priest, so probably there's going to come a time where other women are going to ask her for advice about their marriages. i hope she won't be telling them that they need to obey their husbands as well, because they probably won't all be married to men who are kind and good and don't really care to have power over their wives. of course, i don't think people should be telling women to submit to their husbands in any case, so it's probably irrelevant.

one thing i've noticed about spending time with a group of people who i disagree with on things like this is that i've gotten better at asking people questions to figure out what they think and why, without either offending them or telling them what i myself think. so, i can understand people better and have more compassion for them, but also, i can get more information about them and be better at manipulation. both are useful, i guess.


<< >>