past

one of my friends, who's also in the trans student group, suggested that we all go to the beach together at some point. i've been wanting to go to the beach with someone for so long that i have my dream beach outfit fully planned out already. it's gonna be a colorful bikini top, an also colorful flannel shirt that i will wear unbuttoned when i can see the ocean and buttoned when i can't, and shorts.

also i have sunglasses to go with it. i never buy sunglasses because why, but this pair was loaned to me by G a long time ago and i just never gave them back. i'm thinking about them because she texted me a few days ago out of the blue, around midnight, to tell me that the total asshole i asked out a while ago had cut his bangs into a weird straight line. we talked about him for a while and then the next day i told her i still had her sunglasses and asked if she wanted them back. she said i could keep them.

weirdly, i think i want to be friends again. i was going to ask her this week if she wanted to have a drink with me, but then i got sick, so i'll have to wait. i'm looking forward to it though.

i was reading through some of my older entries on here and i noticed something kind of funny. i met the person i like right now...well, probably i'm in love with her, which is kind of gross but whatever. anyway, i met her for the first time last summer, and when i read what i wrote about things i was doing right around that time, i can remember that i interacted with her at those places, but i didn't even bother to write about it because i didn't realize that later i'd think it was important. but i do remember the first time we talked i thought she was familiar to me even though i'm pretty sure we only met last year. now i wonder if that's because she reminds me of something i used to have, rather than someone i used to know.