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depression is the fucking worst and one of the most frustrating things is how all the things i normally want to do slowly become uninteresting or too difficult to bother. i end up going to bed early or sitting in front of my computer staring blankly at the wall because there's just nothing i want to do anymore. and then there's these just random awful thoughts that make me want to cry all the time for no reason. it's like living with a mean person who follows me around and makes fun of me every time i either do or don't do something. if i eat it's, "see, this is why you're so unhappy. maybe if you stopped eating people would like you more. you should do that." if i don't it's, "how pathetic is it that you can't even feed yourself? even animals know how to do that." every choice is wrong, every thought is painful, every action is meaningless.