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in a surprise twist that shocked absolutely no one, hanging out with her turned out to be a Bad Idea.

also last night i learned i'm allergic to dogs. i tried to sleep on my friend's couch so i could watch netflix, but i slept really badly (this was partly the dog's fault because he would cry if i didn't let him snuggle up next to me even though it was hot and he would get upset when i tried to turn over or stretch out). my nose was stuffy and my eyes kept watering. i thought it was because i had cried earlier but after i found a benadryl in the medicine cabinet i could breathe again and i slept just fine, except for the crybaby dog.

i always thought it would be nice to have a cuddly dog but it turns out i only like it for a little while and then when i'm ready to sleep i want it to go away. and i've thought before that i would like to be married someday but when people talk to me about their relationships or even just their close friendships where they live with the other person and see them all day and spend time with them constantly, i just think it sounds hideous. maybe i'd feel differently about my own dog, or my own wife, but maybe i just don't want very close relationships that involve a lot of interaction and physical contact. i have thought before that it would be nice to date someone who traveled for work, and i would see them a lot for maybe one week a month, and then they would go away and we could still text and stuff but i could have my space and lots of time to miss them and think about them. maybe if i really did have that kind of relationship i would feel lonely a lot, though.

mostly i feel like i would be happiest dating someone exactly like myself. but i have never met anyone like me, because no one is like me, and no one ever will be.


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