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i feel okay now. it's sort of weird how i can be so unhappy, wishing i was dead and all, and then a few hours later be just fine. i guess it's good though.

i don't think i have written about this yet. the reason i bought a new dress the other day is that thursday i am helping the person i like with a show they're doing. what i'm helping with is this: she wanted to have people from the community talk about cool things they're doing that are related to social justice in some way. about a month ago i started working on a sort of project which was, i wanted to make my own body glitter that would be customizable and safe for your skin and not sticky or smelly and it would last a long time. i mentioned this to her and she really liked the idea and asked me to make it for the show and give it to people in the audience. of course i said yes, so that's what i'm doing thursday. my feelings are very mixed. i'm more looking forward to wearing my new dress, i think. but that's an uncomplicated emotion.

i also want to get a new lipstick thing. i wanted to get lip tar from obsessive compulsive cosmetics but it's not sold in stores around here and i need it by thursday. i went looking to see if there's something similar i could get that isn't too expensive, and it turns out maybelline just released a lipstick thing that's pretty similar (although i've read that it's more like a too faced product than the occ lip tar) so i'm going to get that instead. while i was reading up on that i learned that they also have a line of lipsticks that are described as "creamy matte" that might work for what i want. i really don't like matte lip products in general but from the pictures it seems like i might like this one, so i might buy it also. i'll have the money i made dog sitting soon so it'll be fun to try new stuff.


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