multifunctional

my therapist had to move our appointment this week because she has a stomach virus. i was ill this weekend, too, so i feel sad for her. is that bad? sometimes i'm not sure how much i should think about her as a person, not because i don't think she is one, but because i have a lot of problems with feeling nervous and ashamed about things i think and feel and do, and it's harder for me to talk about those things to a person than it is to a role, or, say, a blog read only by strangers. but i also have problems with feeling certain that i'm an alien because i'm not right in the way other people are, so it's helpful for me to say out loud these things i feel anxious about and have a human there to nod and say they understand or at least that they have heard other humans talk about similar things. i don't know. i am often confused by things that are more than one thing - maybe she is both a person whose job it is to listen to me without judgement and a human i am fond of who sometimes gets sick, like me.