update

it's been a couple weeks so i figure i should update.

the last time i saw the person i liked, i went to campus to sign up for spring classes. but, it turns out that if you get accepted to the university but then you don't go, there's a whole separate process for reapplying, which has a way earlier deadline than everything else. i missed the deadline by about a week, so i won't be able to go back to school until summer at the soonest. also while i was there, the person i liked's girlfriend came to hang out with us, and it was awkward and terrible. i almost cried, but then i didn't, but then later i called my friend G and i did cry, about the person and the girl and everything. she was very nice about it and has very kindly not brought it up again. after that i felt much better immediately.

and i've continued to feel better. i don't think about him much at all, and i don't even especially want to date him anymore. i don't think it would work out. now i am in the sad position of not having a crush on anyone. i have to meet a lot of new people so i can change this as soon as possible.

i've been spending a lot of time with G. she's still very sad, about her boyfriend leaving her. we went shopping in charlotte last sunday and she asked me to help her put up her christmas tree because christmas is my favorite holiday and she's sad that she won't get to do christmas things with her ex. i think putting up a tree with her sounds fun.

also i have started sleeping more normally, which is nice. i go to bed sort of early and nap in the middle of the day, now. it's good.

i worked on black friday, at the hot topic G manages. it was fun and i got paid and also i get a huge discount on anything i buy from there which is very convenient for christmas shopping, though i don't really have anyone to christmas shop for besides my mom. there's a lot of stuff i want to buy for myself, though. i don't think i will get any presents this year so i will just have to buy my own.

i think i will get a job next year. i sort of like the idea of working part time at a store or something. it would be nice to get out of the house more, maybe.

i just mostly feel pretty good about my life and all. i'm not sure why but i don't feel so uneasy about it anymore. there are times when i feel really happy but in general i just feel content because there's nothing really big that i want. it's good. i'm okay.