involved

today i got an email about the youth group social event, which is we're all going bowling and then having dinner. i'm unclear on who decided to make people play a game at 7 pm without feeding them first, but okay.

there was a note at the bottom of the email saying that if anyone wanted to volunteer to help plan social events and try to recruit people for the group, they should email D. i asked A if this was her idea, and she said she didn't even know about it. A's job was to coordinate all our social stuff and i think to send out the emails. but she told me she wasn't interested in doing it anymore.
the reason is sort of complicated. when D gets mad about things he'll throw A out of their house, and once he even broke up with her. he made a post about this, publicly, on facebook, about 10 minutes after it happened, and it was kind of a mess because they were engaged at the time and had already told everyone at church. they made up and all, but A was embarrassed about the whole thing. now she says she doesn't want to put work into a group that she could be kicked out of whenever D gets mad.

i had some other thoughts on why the group dynamics are so fucking weird, but actually, earlier i decided that the real problem is that i'm way too invested in these people's lives. A is my friend, and i like D just fine, but they need to get their relationship sorted out in a way that doesn't affect the group. or me. because this shit is none of my business and suddenly i have lost interest in all of it.

friday i'm going to see my best friend and the person i'm interested in. i didn't mention this before, but on sunday A and i ran into my best friend. he moved in with his creepy puppet girlfriend finally and they live right near my church. we said hello and all and then went about our business, and when A and i got into my car she said, "was that his girlfriend? i wasn't sure if it was his mom." so that cheered me up a little. anyway i'm happy i'll be seeing him soon because he's been so busy lately.

and as for the person i'm interested in, i'm making plans. i'd already decided to wear my new purple lip gloss, and i think i'm also going to wear my favorite dress. it's my favorite because i like the fit and the print so much, but also, i get a lot of attention in this dress. it's funny to me because the dress is a weird length (it's a little longer than knee-length. tea-length maybe?) and it's clingy in what a fashion magazine might call the "wrong places". it just delights me that the one piece of clothing i own that allows people to actually see how fat i am is the one that i always get approached in. it makes me want to buy more tight dresses. anyway, that's the plan, wear a cute dress and weird lipstick and go see their art thing and then ask them questions about it and then ask them on a date. and then throw up?