minor, controlled surprises

y'all let me know what you think about this new layout. the colors are actually the nail polish colors i've been obsessing over lately, like i actually went to the brand's site and copied the colors and brightened them a little and then used them. also there is slightly less stuff on the entries themselves (the time and date are gone)...i think it looks nice but if it starts to bug me i'll change it back. whatevs.

i got asked out on a date last week. tuesday we're having lunch, then going to the movies, then having frozen yogurt, which i'm still not even sure if i like. my city has been way behind on the frozen yogurt trend so last year and the year before that there were all these froyo places just popping up everywhere and people keep telling me they like it because it's a healthy alternative to ice cream. i hate healthy alternatives especially since i'm the kind of person who periodically craves a specific sweet food and then i eat a small amount of it and i'm happy because it's hard for me to tolerate sweet things that don't have booze in them. i just don't see the point in choking down a bowl or plate of something i hate when i could have just had a few spoonfuls of something i love. and also, froyo has that slight sour yogurty taste that i'm not sure about. still, you can get gummi bears in your yogurt, and at the end of the day, that's what's most important. was i talking about something else?

oh yeah, the date. so the girl is really nice, but i wasn't sure if i wanted to kiss her on the mouth until today. i asked her if she did anything special for the holiday and she told me she got a figurine from one of those machines that some stores have in the front, where you put in some quarters and get a random toy. i think this made me like her because this excitement over minor, controlled surprises is something i share. a surprise party would be a nightmare, but i used to flip my shit over wonder balls when i was a kid. (do you know these? it was a hollow ball made of chocolate, and inside the ball would be some kind of other candy, like sweetarts or shocktarts, but you didn't know what you were going to get until you cracked the ball open.) i just feel like she and i are similar, we both like to get things and then take them home and put them with other similar things and look at all the things together and it's a good feeling. so i'm excited, yes.

the date i went on last week, i'm not so sure about. this is because they're only home for summer and will go back to school far away in august. their freckles are extremely cute but i just don't want to get attached. it's a real bummer. maybe i should kiss them on the mouth anyway, even though i'll be sad for months when they go away again, because: freckles. on the other hand, i feel like since i started therapy i'm sad much less often, so maybe i won't still be crying about it at christmas. well, christmas is my favorite holiday so i'm never crying then, but you get it.

i should write more often because i think it's good for me. it's just that i feel good a lot so i have less to say. i used to mostly write because i had bad feelings that i couldn't talk about, but now i have a therapist for that, and i also have a best friend for when i need to vent and whatever. i'm going to try to post more though. i have a thing i want to try to talk about, but i'm going to save that for when i'm less tired.