mostly sweet

i went to a rally today and i saw a girl i've sort of known for a while and always admired. i haven't talked to her much before but i did today and it was really nice. she laughed a lot and agreed with the things i said and when i joked that i hoped nobody interviewed me because i probably looked awful (because it was so hot) she said i looked cute.
before i left i found her and told her i liked talking to her and i think she's really cool and i want us to be friends and i hope she didn't think i was being weird. she seemed to think it was nice, and gave me a hug.

when i got home later i cried about it a little. i guess i was so relieved that i was able to talk to someone i admire without saying anything embarrassing. or maybe i'm proud of myself? i'm not sure. i remember a couple years ago i made out with a girl and it was lovely but when she left i cried and i wasn't really sure why then either. maybe cute girls being nice to me makes me cry or maybe that's just my default response to everything at this point. i'm okay with that, as long as i have time to take off my mascara first.